I Would Like to Market My Head

In this particular case, the original is such a wordathon that what survives is bound to be a strange mess of stuff. Not too difficult, if you happen to know the song.

From a plane at the airport Los Angeles, jumping is my dream coat. Welcome to the visibility of the country and over: Where, how we cope with this? It jumped a taxi. I am here for the first time. View my right to see the characters hollivood. It's so crazy, it seems all so familiar. Turner, my stomach and I feel a bit nostalgic. Weight of the project, I am very nervous, but when the driver starts on the radio and songs, strong - is today. J - men, and started the next one. Song Jianxin - men, as I put my deal: they ognetti behavior. On the fly, I would like to market my head "yes", "scary is your own, such as" yes, "how my hand, but his next race, I, and now I'll be OK. Yes, this is when the United States! Yes, this time in the United States!

Check out the big patch o' white below. Therein lies the original.

"Party in the USA" as performed by Miley Cyrus

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=463484659&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan. Welcome to the land of fame and excess: whoa, am I going to fit in? Jumped in the cab. Here I am for the first time. Look to my right, and I see the Hollywood sign. This is all so crazy; everybody seems so famous. My tummy's turning and I'm feeling kinda homesick. Too much pressure and I'm nervous; that's when the taxi man turned on the radio and the Jay-Z song was on. And the Jay-Z song was on. And the Jay-Z song was on, so I put my hands up: they're playing my song. The butterflies fly away; I'm nodding my head like "Yeah," moving my hips like "Yeah!" Got my hands up; they're playing my song and now I'm gonna be okay. Yeah! It's a party in the U.S.A.! Yeah! It's a party in the U.S.A.!

They Call Me That Soft Gel

Well this one's pretty simple, really. Just including it because the translation cracks me up. Has there ever been a song with lyrics more ridiculous than the original?

How we saffron crazy. Saffron and me crazy. How we saffron crazy. I am just crazy. They call me immature, yellow, that it is correct. They call me immature, yellow, that it is correct. They call me that soft gel. How we mud more than 14 years. Taking into account I was 14. How we mud more than 14 years. This is too crazy for me.

If you don't know, you can learn below. The text is in white; you just have to highlight.

"Mellow Yellow" as performed by Donovan
http://repertoire.bmi.com/title.asp?blnWriter=True&blnPublisher=True&blnArtist=True&keyid=976009&ShowNbr=0&ShowSeqNbr=0&querytype=WorkID

I'm just mad about Saffron. Saffron's mad about me. I'm just mad about Saffron. She's just mad about me. They call me mellow yellow, quite rightly. They call me mellow yellow, quite rightly. They call me mellow yellow. I'm just mad about Fourteen. Fourteen's mad about me. I'm just mad about Fourteen. She's just mad about me.

All the Samples of the River

I think Google Translate is slowly improving. It seems like more and more often the song makes it through seven languages with enough intact to give away the game. Like this one, for example... it got translated from English into languages as diverse as Chinese, Icelandic and Yiddish before being translated back into English. And I figure you could still sing these distorted lyrics to the tune of the original. Of course, the original was gibberish too.

What is the word, "Baby, you're paradise to bird. Esgynbren Smile ice cream, but I think it is very good. In stage left and right, so reflected in the West. You know, some things special, and you seem to be the best. you to take part in a dance on the beach and through the Earth's rotation, dusty, more Oh the machine when you can get all the samples of the river on the Rio de Janeiro, you - do you dance. large.

What, pray tell, could this be? Check out the text in white below to see...

"Rio" as performed by Duran Duran

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=480161635&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

Moving on the floor now, babe, you're a bird of paradise. Cherry ice cream smile: I suppose it's very nice. With a step to your left and a flick to the right, you catch that mirror way out west. You know you're something special and you look like you're the best. Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand just like that river twisting through a dusty land, and when she shines she really shows you all she can. Oh Rio, Rio dance across the Rio Grande.

What Time the Money was Missing

Okay, time again for the game in which we translate lyrics all asunder and ask you to decode them. Here's a pile of nonsense that, before machine translation, was less of a pile of nonsense. Back then, what was it?

You can find the Barracks grill. In other parts of the world to you. If you are behind the wheel of a car that you will get. Beautiful woman, beautiful home, you can get. We want you, oh, here I am? By the water that I gather. That the flow of water through. What time the money was missing. Long life in the flow of water down.

The answers are below, hidden by being white in colour. Highlighting them will reveal all.

"Once in a Lifetime" as performed by the Talking Heads

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=450144102&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack. You may find yourself in another part of the world. You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife. You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here? Letting the days go by; let the water hold me down. Letting the days go by; water flowing underground. Into the blue again after the money's gone. Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground.

The Integration of Me

An interesting one this time: plenty of cogent phrases shine through from the original. It doesn't get changed radically, except for the catch line: that gets processed into salad...

Here in the heart and soul and we have. It is possible for the magazine, but you can see. Baby you see the shiny black car, when you need me there. And some on another, as always. I tell you I am forever. As I said, and have friends. I swear to be until the end. Now more than ever, and we both are not good. And the integration of me. And the integration of me.

What can this be? Highlight the white space below and all will be revelaed...

"Umbrella" as performed by Rihanna

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=510507570&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

You have my heart and we'll never be worlds apart. Maybe in magazines, but you'll still be my star. Baby because in the dark you can't see shiny cars, and that's when you need me there. With you I'll always share, because when the sun shines, we'll shine together. I told you I'll be here forever. I said I'll always be a friend. I took an oath; I'm going to stick it out till the end. Now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other. You can stand under my umbrella. You can stand under my umbrella.

Livestock Experts are Here to Sweat

There is just too much awesomeness here. It reminds me of why I love machine translation. Half of these new sentences could be Zen koans. Really.

Me you and candy store. Malik your candy bar. Do not stop: "As long as you stay healthy. How you candy store. Far a taste of what I term a - what Track is all I need. How about the way to try my name or should I increase the temperature?? Vizuri , floor the next step, dance, jam, coffee, hot purse. This is when I will Easily off: if you want to adultery, whose sale or rental at the beach, or hotel garden is good for you. I love my magik Steak, I long for the doctor. to be your friend if they Exciting. you see me, "Behold, not a problem on the Split Reader behavior. When Livestock Experts are here to sweat and you play with one of wood. Children the best way I can: I hand in my mouth, my mother is not sure geotppuneyne cancel.

Go white if you're lost...

"Candy Shop" as performed by 50 Cent

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=331694378&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

I'll take you to the candy shop. I'll let you lick the lollipop. Go ahead girl, don't you stop: keep going till you hit the spot. I'll take you to the candy shop. Boy, one taste of what I got - I'll have you spending all you got. Keep going till you hit the spot. You can have it your way: how do you want it? Are you going to back that thing up, or should I push up on it? Temperature rising? Okay, let's go to the next level. Dance floor jam packed, hot as a tea kettle. I'll break it down for you now, baby; it's simple: if you'll be a nympho, I'll be a nympho in the hotel or in the back of the rental, on the beach or in the park: it's whatever you're into. I've got the magic stick; I'm the love doctor. Have your friends teasing you about how sprung I got you. Want to show me how you work it, baby? No problem: get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider. I'm a seasoned vet when it come to this shit. After you work up a sweat, you can play with the stick. I'm trying to explain, baby, the best way I can: I melt in your mouth, girl, not in your hands.

Belinda Must Beat the Best

I love this one. The new, coverted-and-perverted, lyrics are just way better in all ways than the original. They ought to rerecord it:

Finally, listen to good Cooperation Iceland is my invention of brand new. Give me something - tight run and orphans Missile daily walk. 'And avoid? Hey, I do not know. Close to power. Change, fire, light, such as stage and rock the microphone is to stupid. Speakers come and dance to break the cart. I like poisonous Mushrooms, I Killed your brain. Tune is a Deadly Medicine: players better than the crime. Not as good or weight will be determined. Belinda must beat the best, children, do not. Now I can not fix the problem. When linked to dj around.

Give up? The whiteness below reveals all...

"Ice Ice Baby" as performed by Vanilla Ice

http://repertoire.bmi.com/title.asp?blnWriter=True&blnPublisher=True&blnArtist=True&keyid=699387&ShowNbr=0&ShowSeqNbr=0&querytype=WorkID

All right: stop, collaborate and listen: Ice is back with my brand new invention. Something grabs a hold of me tightly, flow like a harpoon daily and nightly. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know. Turn off the lights and I'll glow. To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle. Dance go rush to the speaker that booms. I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom. Deadly when I play a dope melody: anything less than the best is a felony. Love it or leave it, you'd better gain weight. You'd better hit bullseye: the kid don't play. If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

Existing Before the Chairman

Yet another. I like this one: it's pretty far removed from the original, but the original still peeks through... a word or two, here or there:

This is urgent and do cleaning: the best damn woman that I have him. Existing before the Chairman. It. Vision is to knock over my thigh. More comments against him without him saying that because of the Walls market, the earth, the pain in my heart. "We have created you rock my stand all night, the night is out eh.

Can you figure out what the original lyrics were and what the song is? Answers, as usual, in white:

"You Shook Me All Night Long" as performed by AC/DC

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=550112091&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean: she was the best damn woman that I've ever seen. She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies, knocking me out with those American thighs. Taking more than her share, had me fighting for air, she told me to come but I was already there because the walls started shaking, the earth was quaking, my mind was aching, and we were making it and you shook me all night long. Yes, you shook me all night long.

We Steamed the Sun

No fair cheating if you know Irish... Obviously Irish Gaelic was one of the seven languages this got mixed up through, as sometimes in going from language A to language B, a stray word gets left behind untranslated. Not pretty, but just another example of what happens when you translate something from one language to another to another to another... Not a difficult one today, by the way.

I was born in the city for people at sea, he will explain his life in the land under the water. We steamed the sun until we found the green sea waves, and we have. Fomhuirí experience of yellow. We are all from fomhuirí fomhuirí fomhuirí yellow yellow yellow. We are all from fomhuirí fomhuirí fomhuirí yellow yellow yellow.

Dunno? Answer in white below.

"Yellow Submarine" perfomed by the Beatles

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=550057188&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

In the town where I was born lived a man who sailed to sea, and he told us of his life in the land of submarines, so we sailed on to the sun till we found the sea green, and we lived beneath the waves in our yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine.