Livestock Experts are Here to Sweat

There is just too much awesomeness here. It reminds me of why I love machine translation. Half of these new sentences could be Zen koans. Really.

Me you and candy store. Malik your candy bar. Do not stop: "As long as you stay healthy. How you candy store. Far a taste of what I term a - what Track is all I need. How about the way to try my name or should I increase the temperature?? Vizuri , floor the next step, dance, jam, coffee, hot purse. This is when I will Easily off: if you want to adultery, whose sale or rental at the beach, or hotel garden is good for you. I love my magik Steak, I long for the doctor. to be your friend if they Exciting. you see me, "Behold, not a problem on the Split Reader behavior. When Livestock Experts are here to sweat and you play with one of wood. Children the best way I can: I hand in my mouth, my mother is not sure geotppuneyne cancel.

Go white if you're lost...

"Candy Shop" as performed by 50 Cent

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=331694378&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

I'll take you to the candy shop. I'll let you lick the lollipop. Go ahead girl, don't you stop: keep going till you hit the spot. I'll take you to the candy shop. Boy, one taste of what I got - I'll have you spending all you got. Keep going till you hit the spot. You can have it your way: how do you want it? Are you going to back that thing up, or should I push up on it? Temperature rising? Okay, let's go to the next level. Dance floor jam packed, hot as a tea kettle. I'll break it down for you now, baby; it's simple: if you'll be a nympho, I'll be a nympho in the hotel or in the back of the rental, on the beach or in the park: it's whatever you're into. I've got the magic stick; I'm the love doctor. Have your friends teasing you about how sprung I got you. Want to show me how you work it, baby? No problem: get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider. I'm a seasoned vet when it come to this shit. After you work up a sweat, you can play with the stick. I'm trying to explain, baby, the best way I can: I melt in your mouth, girl, not in your hands.

Belinda Must Beat the Best

I love this one. The new, coverted-and-perverted, lyrics are just way better in all ways than the original. They ought to rerecord it:

Finally, listen to good Cooperation Iceland is my invention of brand new. Give me something - tight run and orphans Missile daily walk. 'And avoid? Hey, I do not know. Close to power. Change, fire, light, such as stage and rock the microphone is to stupid. Speakers come and dance to break the cart. I like poisonous Mushrooms, I Killed your brain. Tune is a Deadly Medicine: players better than the crime. Not as good or weight will be determined. Belinda must beat the best, children, do not. Now I can not fix the problem. When linked to dj around.

Give up? The whiteness below reveals all...

"Ice Ice Baby" as performed by Vanilla Ice

http://repertoire.bmi.com/title.asp?blnWriter=True&blnPublisher=True&blnArtist=True&keyid=699387&ShowNbr=0&ShowSeqNbr=0&querytype=WorkID

All right: stop, collaborate and listen: Ice is back with my brand new invention. Something grabs a hold of me tightly, flow like a harpoon daily and nightly. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know. Turn off the lights and I'll glow. To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle. Dance go rush to the speaker that booms. I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom. Deadly when I play a dope melody: anything less than the best is a felony. Love it or leave it, you'd better gain weight. You'd better hit bullseye: the kid don't play. If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

Existing Before the Chairman

Yet another. I like this one: it's pretty far removed from the original, but the original still peeks through... a word or two, here or there:

This is urgent and do cleaning: the best damn woman that I have him. Existing before the Chairman. It. Vision is to knock over my thigh. More comments against him without him saying that because of the Walls market, the earth, the pain in my heart. "We have created you rock my stand all night, the night is out eh.

Can you figure out what the original lyrics were and what the song is? Answers, as usual, in white:

"You Shook Me All Night Long" as performed by AC/DC

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=550112091&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean: she was the best damn woman that I've ever seen. She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies, knocking me out with those American thighs. Taking more than her share, had me fighting for air, she told me to come but I was already there because the walls started shaking, the earth was quaking, my mind was aching, and we were making it and you shook me all night long. Yes, you shook me all night long.

We Steamed the Sun

No fair cheating if you know Irish... Obviously Irish Gaelic was one of the seven languages this got mixed up through, as sometimes in going from language A to language B, a stray word gets left behind untranslated. Not pretty, but just another example of what happens when you translate something from one language to another to another to another... Not a difficult one today, by the way.

I was born in the city for people at sea, he will explain his life in the land under the water. We steamed the sun until we found the green sea waves, and we have. Fomhuirí experience of yellow. We are all from fomhuirí fomhuirí fomhuirí yellow yellow yellow. We are all from fomhuirí fomhuirí fomhuirí yellow yellow yellow.

Dunno? Answer in white below.

"Yellow Submarine" perfomed by the Beatles

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=550057188&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

In the town where I was born lived a man who sailed to sea, and he told us of his life in the land of submarines, so we sailed on to the sun till we found the sea green, and we lived beneath the waves in our yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine.

My Princess Comic

Another edition in the classic game that no-one's ever heard of... Take these garbled lyrics and guess what the original might have been... before Google Translate got to it...

You better. I think it was me. You better. I had thought. How do you install it. I do not know what I feel all right, or fail to do so, I think. You know that is important and has been hell and my princess comic. Me that I was right you know it. So if you can work better. I think I will have to talk all together.

Any idea? Well, the original can be found below in white. Just highlight the text and it magically appears, like invisible ink.

"Girlfriend" performed by Avril Lavigne

http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=371411295&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

You’re so fine. I want you mine. You’re so delicious. I think about you all the time. You’re so addictive. Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel all right? Don’t pretend; I think you know I’m damn precious, and hell yeah, I’m the motherfucking princess. I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right. She’s, like, so whatever, and you could do so much better. I think we should get together now, and that’s what everyone’s talking about.

Deep Change Leaves One Man

Every bit as nonsensical as the original. In fact, perhaps a bit more meaningful.

If so, the story line of the night to hide the sunglasses do not see the weaving. At night if I knew the vision and the nuneului not wearing my sunglasses. But suddenly bit off his personal safety. I do not tell me and her around in the open. "Deep change leaves one man. 'S oh no not one black one in the dark. I can not believe that.

Give up? It's in white below.

"Sunglasses at Night" as performed by Corey Hart
http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=490538700&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can watch you weave then breathe your story lines. And I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can keep track of the visions in my eyes. While she's deceiving me, it cuts my security. Has she got control of me? I turn to her and say, "Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no. Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no. I can't believe it because you've got it made with the guy in shades, oh no.

It Smells Like Crap

Not really that difficult, actually. If you know the song at all, you can figure it out. I do love how we get three synonyms for the same thing: 'crap', 'stool' and 'manure', and I'm completely mystified as to where Real Madrid came from.

Caroline, Caroline! All women are very very good, but some words in between and a half times what a pity you do not know or not. Yes, I said if you look inside it while the planet Tue, women, men, Madrid, Real Madrid, Real should be a part of our gold calculator. It smells like crap, but more deeply and smell the roses my stool. Yeah, roses really smell of manure.

What does it all mean? Let the whiteness below be your guide.

"Roses" as performed by Outkast
http://www.ascap.com/ace/search.cfm?requesttimeout=300&mode=results&searchstr=480643892&search_in=i&search_type=exact&search_det=t,s,w,p,b,v&results_pp=30&start=1

Caroline, Caroline! All the guys would say she's mighty fine, but mighty fine only got you somewhere half the time and the other half either got you cursed out, or coming up short. Yes, now dig this: even though you'd need a golden calculator to divide the time it took to look inside and realize that real guys go for real down to Mars girls. I know you'd like to think your shit doesn't stink, but lean a little bit closer, see that roses really smell like poo-poo. Yes, roses really smell like poo-poo.